Mr Malfoy
by InkedBaby
Summary: Draco and Harry text. What starts off as playful banter ends in a little more? OOC, slash, bashing of Ginny and Pansy. This was originally written as a joke, but kind of turned more serious?


**This was written for SomethingAmazing95, I love her, ha. Please don't flame. It's KIND OF a crackfic, but not really. Anyway... It's slash, so don't read if that offends you. It's suggestive, but nothing really happens I guess. Oh, and it's like.. three in the morning, so don't expect perfection.  
**

**I don't own anything you recognize, everything else _is _mine**_**.  
**_

Draco hummed happily as he went through racks at his favorite muggle store. I know, I know, Draco in a muggle store, but come on... he had to look good when he went to non-magical places too, right? He has just passed the ugliest shirt he had ever seen (I mean, bright red with purple stripes?) when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He glanced at his screen and smiled, it was Harry, this was bound to be a good conversation. Yes, I know, Harry and Draco having a good conversation, what are the odds? But Draco found they had a lot more in common than he originally thought at Hogwarts.

**Ew, saw Pansy the other day, she was wearing leather skinny jeans. Can you say biggest butt ever... **Draco snorted, yes snorted, as he read the text, causing the man at the next rack over to give him a funny look, he glared back. People need to mind their own damn business. Back in school he would have been offended if Harry said anything about Pansy, but now he realized what a pug-faced imbecile she was. He quickly replied so he could continue browsing, keeping up with the playful mood. **You have no idea! She's tried sticking that thing in my face so many times I don't think I'll ever get the smell out of my nose. :/**

Draco pulled out a black v-neck shirt that looked tight fitting that he supposed could work and quickly sifter through some more. He had three more articles of clothing by the time he got Harry's reply. **Omg, sounds like Ginny. Talk about slutty.** Draco grimaced at the thought of the young red-head and her severe lack of self respect. He laughed to himself and immediately knew what to say. **Oh. My. God. I saw her yesterday outside the mall and she had her skirt sooooo short! I was just like oh no you didn't!** He mentally shuddered at how ridiculous he sounded, but knew it would make Harry laugh as he made his way to the fitting rooms.

As he stripped down to his underwear, Draco glanced at himself in the mirror as his phone buzzed again. **She acts like those legs are something to be proud of, please honey, I've seen better legs on a hyppogriff. **He smiled at Harry's text before a grimace quickly replaced it. I swear the images this boy makes run through my mind... **It looks like there's a forest of hair on those legs****! If that's what her legs look like imagine a little bit north!  
**

He mentally gagged and pulled a pair of tight, white pants from his pile. He hoped they fit, he knew they would look so good on him, especially with a dark green shirt or something... He glanced at his phone: another text. **I don't even want to think about it... **Oh no he didn't, Draco though. He can't put horrifying images and my mind and expect nothing in return. He grinned... he know just what to say. ***shudder* It's better than Pansy, I'm sure. Do you know how many times I've found her lying in my bed in nothing but one of my shirts? I had to burn them! And they were my favorite Ralph Lauren ones too! They were like butter on my skin, I hate thinking about not being able to wear them again. **Draco smirked to himself as he finished the long message, but tossed his phone on the dressing room bench to continue what he was doing. The white pants slid up his thighs easily, as easily as the tightest pants you could buy would, and he buttoned them with a satisfied sigh. Draco stared at his reflection for a while, admiring every angle, and decided the jeans were definitely not going back on the shelf. He remembered the conversation he was having and sat down on the bench to check his phone. **OHMYGOD! Burn a ralph lauren? I'd die, like who does she think she is? **He laughed quietly and texted back. **I know, she was all Draco I want you, and I was just all... Pansy I want you... to die. Desperate. **Draco sat and just waited for the reply, he really didn't want to shop anymore, these jeans we more than he thought he'd find today. Harry replied rather quickly, **Girls never get the hint, like okay... When the guy you want takes better care of himself than you do he probably doesn't want you back, am I right? Ew... And who the hell creeps through other peoples stuff and wears their clothes? Freaks.**

Draco couldn't help but laugh at his friend, he did have a point. **No kidding. Girls are so... skeevy. They get all slutted up and expect ****EVERY guy to fall all over them when any self respecting man would be all honey please, you a hoe and drop them for someone better. Like us. **Draco finished his message and got dressed in his own clothes, forgetting he had more with him. He decided against looking around more and went straight for the register, pulling out his phone again.

Harry's answer lit up his screen, and he held back a laugh. Girls really were stupid... **Someone better with less curves and more abs (; ha** Draco decided to answer comically as he moved up in line, there were still 6 people in front of him, why not pass the time having a little fun? **You know I love me some washboard abs. Haay! (; **He rolled his eyes at himself for being so immature, but Harry usually did that to him. He furrowed his eyebrows at Harry's next response, **Ohh, you know who has some sexy abs? Oliver Wood. But other than that he was soooo not my type**, but decided to play back. ***drool* His abs were to die for! But agreed, he was all work and no play. That makes Oliver a dull boy. (; **Take that! He thought smugly to himself before bouncing back to reality and reprimanding himself for thinking like a child.

Draco looked in front of himself and saw that the lady 3 people ahead of him was arguing with the girl at the register... of course. Harry's text came in and Draco fell back into his own little world. **Ohhh, so he wasn't enough fun for you. and who wasn't so... dull... in your opinion Mr. Malfoy? **Draco bit his lip and text back quickly, he_ loved_ being called Mr. Malfoy. **Hmmm. Well there was this one bloke. God, if he wasn't the best lay I've ever had. I seem to recall his name being... Porter, no.. Prott? No... Potter. It was one Mr. Potter who caught my eye. (;**

Draco chewed on his bottom lip and waited for the reply. A bad habit, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Harry answered right away. **Oh yeah (; and what made him so spectacular? **

Draco glanced up at the line to realize he was next, he though about making a sexy comment but decided to just be honest. **He's nice, he's strong, he's honest... and he sure knows his way around the bedroom. (; **Okay... maybe a little sexy. Harry's ever-so-modest reply came soon enough. **I'm sure he's had some guidance a time or two... I for one know someone who happens to be great in bed.** Draco smirked. **Oh, and who might that be?**

He glanced up just in time to step up to the register. Draco mumbled a quick greeting to the cashier, his eyes never leaving his phone. When his text came, Draco wasted no time in opening it. **Huh, what was his name? I'm sure you've seen him around... He has this amazing blond hair, gorgeous grey eyes, and the sexiest body I've ever seen. **Draco's smirk grew, he quickly paid the lady enough for the pants and left without wasting time with change. He made his way to his car, yes he had a car, and got in before he sent his next text. **Hm, sounds attractive. I'm sure I might of seen him around somewhere, but I doubt he could be as amazing as my man.  
**

Draco sat back in his seat and waited. His whole world shrunk to just him and his cell phone and he knew he shouldn't drive before finishing the conversation. His phone buzzed. **Oh, I dunno... Once you've seen his body you're ruined for anyone else. **Draco bit his lip again and decided to play dirty. **Maybe, but have you seen Mr. Potter's lean, Quiditch toned abs? Mmmm, just makes me want to lick chocolate off of that sexy body. **He stared at the screen and waited, completely captivated by the conversation. **Is that a promise?**

Draco made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, do they have chocolate at home? He tried to think, but his mind refused to listen to him. He made a quick decision and sent his text. **You know it. I'm done shopping, I'm going to the grocery store and I'll be home soon.** Harry's reply was immediate.** I'll be waiting. (;**

Draco groaned to himself and started the car, he tapped a quick message and drove, speedily, to the grocery store. He couldn't wait to get home to Harry.

**Not for long.  
**

**AN: Eh, I don't know if I'm proud of this or not, ha.  
**


End file.
